FAQ
You both WILL have questions. LOTS of them.
You might have them now. You might have them on your big day.
​
Feel free to ask - when it comes to your wedding, the only bad question is an un-asked question.
About I Do ... STL
Feel free to ask us any questions you might have about. We've provided some answers to the questions we hear most often.
Are you really a reverend?
I am ordained as a minister in the Universal Life Church. The ULC is a non-denominational religious organization that brings together people from all walks of life and embrace individuals across the spiritual spectrum. Further, the ULC is proud to open its doors to and serve all people, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, or any other defining characteristic.
The ULC has two core tenets: 1) Do only that which is right. 2) Every individual is free to practice their religion however they like as long as their actions do not impinge upon the rights or freedoms of other and are in accordance with the law.
How long have you been performing weddings?
We performed our first wedding in September, 2022
Do you book weddings or elopments at the last minute?
Call 618 873 3431 to check on availability and pricing. I do require a 3-day advance notice and full payment up front via Venmo, CashApp or Zelle.
Do you offer a minimony or micro-wedding?
A minimony is a smaller, intimate wedding that takes place on your wedding day. Many couples plan a micro-weddingwhen they can no longer have, or afford, a larger affair, typically with no more than 50 guests. These ceremonies still feature the traditions that make a wedding, but on a smaller scale.
Do we have to meet before the ceremony?
We are not required to meet in person. However, I feel that we make a better team if we meet in person and get to know each other before the ceremony.
Before the Wedding
You're going to have questions ... LOTS of questions. Hopefully these will answer of few of them. OR maybe raise new ones you hadn't considered.
​
The only bad questions are those that aren't asked.
Can we write our own vows?
OF COURSE!! It's your wedding!
Do you come to the rehearsal?
Yes, I include coming to the rehearsal as part of the package. At the rehearsal, we can get some last minute details out of the way. You're going to be busy enough on your wedding day without having to worry about ceremony details.
Is there a deposit to hold the date? Do you have an agreement?
Yes, in most cases there is a retainer fee of $100. There is an agreement that we will sign.
What do you wear to the ceremony?
I usually wear a dark colored suit. I can wear a robe of you wish. If you would like me to coordinate with the wedding party, I will ask you to cover any rental expenses.
What things can we do in the ceremony?
Every ceremony has the basic parts that are needed. In addition, you can readings, music, scriptures, prayers, unity candles, sand, roses to the mothers. We can discuss all this when we're planning your ceremony.
What happens if you become unavailable due to illness or conflict?
I have been fortunate in that this has not happened to me yet.
Can we incorporate our cultures, traditions and/or religions into our ceremony?
We want your ceremony to be YOUR ceremnoy and can include whatever traditions you might want to include.
On My Wedding Day
IT'S THE BIG DAY!!! And you still have questions! No problem ...
What time will you arrive on our wedding day?
The last thing you want on your wedding day is to stress out about where your officiant is and when are they going to show up. I always plan to be on-site at least 1 hour before the ceremony.
I'm Married ... Now What?
Whew!! We survived! There are still some things that might come up after the wedding.
What happens once you use your marriage license?
Once you receive your marriage license from the Recorder of Deeds Office, you must use the license within 30 days, it expires after the 30th day. If you do not use the license it must be returned to the Recorder of Deeds Office.
Usually there are two papers for the Wedding Officiant to fill out : the Marriage License and the Marriage Certificate. The first paper is the valid marriage license which is the legal document that an officiant fills out before the ceremony with 1) The official name of person who performs the ceremony. 2) City where the wedding takes place. 3) County where the wedding takes place. 4) Day, month and year of wedding. 5) Official signature, title and sometimes their address.
The second paper is the invalid marriage certificate that is given to you for keepsake purposes. In most cases, you will not be able to use the certificate for name change, banks, insurance purposes. Check with your travel agent or hotel for its use at your honeymoon destination.
Once the papers are filled out, two witnesses may sign them if available. Witnesses are not required in Missouri counties near St Louis or Illinois. The wedding officiant is responsible for returning the marriage license back to the recorder of deeds, or you may choose to return it to get the certified copy of the marriage license instantly (for a fee).
I plan to change my last name after the wedding. What do I need to do?
- Get a certified copy of your marriage license from the Recorder of Deeds office.
- Contact your local Social Security Administration office in order to change your name. You will get a new social security card that shows your new name. Your number will NOT change.
- Change your name at the local Department of Motor Vehicles (or Secretary of State office in Illinois) after you receive your new social security card to get a new driver's license.
- Contact your bank to change the name on your bank accounts to keep your identity intact. Make sure to request new checks, debit cards and credit cards showing your new name.
- Change your name on your passport. This can take a while to process, so keep this in mind if you plan to go out of the country on your honeymoon or other trips soon after the wedding.
- Change you name and other information at work. You will need to make changes to your W-2, W-04, and decustions for tax purposes. You will also need to change your name for insurance, retirement and other account associated with benefits you might receive.
- Have a mirror will created. It's not a pleasant thing to consider, but now that you're married, it would be easier for a surviving spouse if you BOTH have wills created. There’s nothing worse than having to deal with legal issues on top of something as hard as your spouse dying. Making sure that the people you love get their share of your legacy is just the right thing to do. And your will should reflect that wish. Contact a lawyer or use a free service on the internet.
- Change your name (and address if applicable) with the post office.
- Contact your county to change your voter registration.